I stated in the last post that life has been a journey of uncertainty and silent victories along with pain and joy.  Well, today I will attempt to describe all the uncertainty and pain of loss.  Big challenge, right?  I will need to thank my dearest friend and esteemed colleague, Crista for this coaching homework.

If you’ve been one of those who faced grief in the face and lived in the quick sand of loss – this post is for you.  Loss is loss.  This could be a bad break-up, a loss of someone you love dearly, a divorce, a beloved pet that is no longer with you or even the loss of the life you thought you would be living.

We are all human and grieve universally.  However, it’s nothing like they tell you “time heals all wounds.”  I question this blanket statement because this has not been my experience.  Wounds that are deep don’t really get easier with time.  It hurts today the same way as it hurt when I found out a dear loved one died.  Actually, I just learned how to manage the pain with time. Each person grieves and deals with difficulty very uniquely.  We all need to honor pain and deal with it individually.  Not one fingerprint is the same and there is not one right way to heal.

The city has grown up around it over the centuries. It feels like a precious wound, a heartbreak you won’t let go of because it hurts too good. We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we’re afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Then I looked around to this place, at the chaos it has endured – the way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured, maybe my life hasn’t been so chaotic, it’s just the world that is, and the real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation. – Eat Pray Love

This quote describing Rome also describes what happens to the soul when we are hit by ruin. Ruin places us on a different trajectory of life, hopefully towards transformation.  We keep going, we keep moving to one day filling our days with more silent sweetness and loud laughter that keeps us full of hope for something more, something better.

What do you know for sure? (As something Oprah would ask a guest)  My answer would be is that I fill my life with love, so that the pain of loss is equally balanced with love and joy.  I fill my days with things I love love to do.  I love coaching.  I love bringing people to see their full potential and authenticity.  I love writing and finding my creativity.  I will continue to discover all things in life that brings me joy in hopes that loss becomes just a smaller piece of who I am and not an all-consuming identity.  I hope the same for you.

-Dedicated to J.  I will always look for the Good Year Blimp and know that you are never too far away.