I was scrolling Facebook Tuesday morning and there it was a picture of my dearest friend with pictures of her friends. I was going to call her and give her support since it sounds like someone died.

My brain went into complete denial. I couldn’t call her. She was the one that died.

That whole day I kept going back to our last brunch together. I couldn’t accept that this special person was gone and I wouldn’t be able to see her again. That was all the time we had together and I felt completely robbed.

She was my divorce sponsor in every way. We gave each other support during our hardest times in life. We dreamed of our new lives. Now I feel like this is a solo journey for me. I know full well this is untrue because of the amount of love surrounding me. I’m far from alone.

In the midst of crying I heard myself saying I’ve been here before. I reflected back on times where life was cut short to the people I loved dearly. Perhaps it was a way of soothing myself. You were in the darkest of hours but you were able to move with grief and live fully. I don’t believe in moving on from grief but I do believe in moving with it.