They came to my office wanting to have a conversation. Both are in the winter of their lives and living their final years in our community. They are in love and want to get married. I see them during meals eating together and holding hands. They steal kisses when they think nobody is watching. It’s so beautiful to see that love has no boundaries even when we think life is ending. No more settling for average. I’m reminded everyday what is real love and respect – anything less is intolerable.

This excerpt was actually written by a man. I was surprised at how accurate this statement was coming from him. It’s completely true that when a woman is ready to leave it came from numerous chances that she gave away. Those chances come from hoping that he will compromise or see that her love is unwavering. However, when it’s time to walk away it’s when she realizes that she is slowly chipping away her self respect. My hope is that for any couple it never gets to this point. I hope that during this pandemic we evaluate what’s really important in life which is to listen and respect the love that exists before it’s too late. I know that for myself I’m learning to love and respect myself first and the right partner will nurture it.

At the start of my work day there he was beaming with a huge smile and waving to motion me over. He was having breakfast and I was heading to my office. I walked over to him and he took my hand and kissed it gently with pure kindness. Bob has done this everyday since we met. He greets me with such warmth and love that it resonates deeply. Bob is 99 years old today and has a memory impairment. His speech is slurred but we understand each other. I understand that the kindness and love he gives is unconditional. I understand that I feel worthy of such pure love. I understand that he gives without barriers or withholding. Bob reminds me of when a man made me feel seen and special. It was a decade ago but he brought that feeling back to life. Thank you for showing me complete love. I will never settle for anything less than what I deserve. Find someone who looks at you the way Bob looks at me …

Find someone who can communicate with you with an open heart. Find someone who understands that communication is an invitation for intimacy and closeness not a fight for ego. A relationship is effort it’s not struggle. I watched a woman say on her wedding day that her husband holds her hand when she’s unsure and that his kindness towards her teaches her. A real man is gentle with a woman’s heart and can balance strength with gentleness. I wish for you a partner that holds your hand in life and teaches you true unconditional love.

There’s so much richness in this poem but my favorite part was such a punch in the gut. “I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.” I hope that we all have the courage to speak our truth and live in our authenticity. I hope when faced to be true to ourselves or another we always choose the self.